Time

It’s strange to have time on your hands. I’m so used to time going too fast, not enough time, limited time to do the things I want. Out here feels slow. Everything moves slow. Everyone moves slow. There’s been mornings I wake up with my heart pounding, thinking how much there is to get done today. But it’s all a shadow of the past year, a time where it didn’t matter how early I got up, I never accomplished my to do list. A wedding will do that to you.

I bask in time, in the sunshine that seems to endlessly shine out here. Every day a perfect, endless summer day. It sounds like a dream, and to some it may be. It is so strange to search for ways to spend the time. I am aware this will change, that I will find commitments to make. That all moves start out slow. I am trying to learn to value this time I am given to be slow. To edit my life, to makeover the parts that have fallen apart. To shift my life away from the things that aren’t working anymore. To appreciate this year as it is, low on commitment and giving on time.

I hope to come back to this post when my life picks up speed, because I know I will wish I had it back once more. I wish I could save it for later, intersperse it into the times I feel overwhelmed with things to do.
I feel this post moves slower, the words drag across the screen. My emotions are dulled. My homesickness aches but only a little, the sun bleaches out the worst of it. I’ve had to return to my to do lists I made back home of things that have gone by the wayside. So slowly I pick up things to do, things to fill my time.

After all I only have a year here. Time may move slow but it does not stop moving, I know.